Music Mondays – The Tickle Me Song – Tickling and Teasing – Good or Bad for Kids?

I do not like to be tickled. I don’t think I ever liked it. Do you? It seems to be something that all of us do to children who are little – perhaps it’s because we want to see them laugh – those peels of giggles give so much joy. But the main thing when tickling is to STOP when the children say – ‘NO MORE’. Is it a control thing? Or is it that people who tickle just do it for pure pleasure to see someone giggle and squirm? Especially a child? Certainly there is nothing bad about tickling for that reason. My song Tickle Me Sample however clearly says – when I say stop – stop. That way if the child loves it- and wants it to continue – terrific. But if not- they should be in control of their feelings and how the tickling is for them – and you should listen to them, so that they are in control of the situation not you. Then I think it’s fine. Lolly(below) loves to tickle Polly because she giggles so much. Sam, The Broken Robot is explaining to her that she can tell Lolly when she has had enough. Even though he is her big brother that she adores – it is her decision.

To me, tickling is like teasing. It seems to be fun -but can actually be quite annoying and painful. And yet because it seems to be innocuous, people consider you a bad sport if you don’t accept both.

Most of the time I think that teasing is saying something nasty with a smile on your face. And then saying to the person who says STOP – ‘you have no sense of humor’, or ‘you are such a silly’ or ‘bad sport’. I do not see any place for teasing in life. Truly. I think making jokes about yourself is fine. Making jokes about others is not. Perhaps it is a control issue again – teasing others – by saying hurtful things nicely – has no value except to embarrass them and make you feel more powerful. I realise this is also cultural. In the UK, I have noticed that poking fun  ( teasing) is very common and people tend to underplay success. Which is fine if it is your own success that you are underplaying. It is hard to pay a compliment in other cultures – some get very uncomfortable by praise, others feel not part of the group and as such, singled out as an individual and so very embarrassed by praise. So understanding a culture is a prerequisite to paying compliments and teasing. And teasing is very much part of a British education.

No matter what – it is not something that I like at all. And so my conversation with my grandchildren may include teasing comments about my OWN condition or situation to make them giggle, but NONE about theirs. This teaches them to respect others and if they want to make fun, to do so of themselves – a much less harmful route to enjoyment.

I would love to hear your comments on this one?

About Grandma

I have reinvented myself many times during my life -teacher, lawyer, business woman, CEO, Entrepreneur, Board member, Professor, Mom, Wife, Farmer, Chef, Musician, Author and now my best role of all – Grandma to multiple grandchildren, grandnephews and nieces worldwide.

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